I need to go to the store for a couple groceries but I don’t want to go outside because it’s sunny and I am so sick of sunshine.
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World is on. I forgot how much I love this movie.
Current discussion: is anyone from this movie still alive?
My house disgusted me, so I slept in a tent.
My tent disgusted me, so I slept in the grass. The grass disgusted me,
so I slept in my body, which I strung like a hammock from two ropes.
My body disgusted me, so I carved myself out of it.
My use of knives disgusted me because it was an act of violence.
My weakness disgusted me because “Hannah” means “hammer.”
The meaning of my name disgusted me because I’d rather be known
as beautiful. My vanity disgusted me because I am a scholar.
My scholarship disgusted me because knowledge is empty.
My emptiness disgusted me because I wanted to be whole.
My wholeness would have disgusted me because to be whole
is to be smug. Still, I tried to understand wholeness
as the inclusiveness of all activities: I walked out into the yard,
trying to vomit and drink milk simultaneously. I tried to sleep
while smoking a cigar. I have enough regrets to crack all the plumbing.
I’m whole only in that I’ve built my person from every thought I’ve ever loved.
Chris is still recovering from the colds we had post NYC, so he crashed at about 6:00 tonight.
I was going to watch a movie, but decided to pour a glass of wine and read my book. I’ve got Neon Indian playing in the background and an oversized lap dog sharing my chair.
Not a bad Saturday night.
We have 9 months before we pick up and move our Midwest behinds back to Minnesota, so I did an online quote thingamajig for movers costs so I could get an idea of how much to budget.
Upside - It’s totally affordable. Even if they double their cost it’s still under the amount I had been budgeting in my brain.
Downside - moving companies have been emailing me nonstop for the past 24 hours.
My in-laws are headed into town in the next couple weeks. They are going to stay here while we go to Germany, and they’ll probably stick around for a couple weeks afterward.
I love having them here. They are fun to have around and Goofy just can’t get enough of his Grandma.
But. I am already bracing myself for the non-stop noise of the television. It’s not that we don’t watch it on a (semi) regular basis - we do. But when his folks are in town it is only turned off when my FIL is in bed. That part gets old very quickly.
That’s what the world is, after all: an endless battle of contrasting memories.
It seems to me that this world has a serious shortage of both logic and kindness.